Ty Talks

“College the Best Years of Your Life”

College is supposed to be a place for us to grow, have fun and prepare for our future. Here I examine how college is forced on us as adolescents and the societal expectations that come with it.

It’s Time to Talk The College Experience

Before I begin, this article in no way is trying to bash the American college system….

No, it is.

I lied.

This article is about how the college experience is a scam in order to control the way that upcoming generation thinks about life and what true happiness is supposed to look like.

The American Dream

What is “The American Dream?”

Many may argue that it is the suburban house with a white fence, marriage and kids.

Others argue that it is career success and this idea of higher level intellect coupled with financial stability.

No matter the case, in both scenarios there is one thing that is pushed so heavily in order to meet this specific image.

College.

The push for education in order to get a high paying job and support yourself and your future family has been forced onto everyone since the moment they are born. The idea of family legacies or the potential for the next generation to be better off that than which their parents could provide, creates a large pressure on teens and young adults our age.

The American Dream becomes a reality if you go to college, atleast that’s what they want us to think…

Difficult Decisions at the Height of Adolescence

The topic of peer pressure only ever comes up about what society deems negative and unnecessary like: drugs, sex, and alcohol. But disregards that of what it deems acceptable like education, workforce and starting families. Since we are talking about college here I won’t get into the societal expectations that pertain to women, gender and sexuality, that is for another day.

But the pressure that is put on us for acceptance and validation from all of our peers and even our family is crucial to how we make our decisions.

When it comes to education, there can be an extreme sense of lack due to the constant need to compare yourself with those around you. Everyone around you has plans to go to college, has scholarships and has these “huge” goals to be something, while you may have your reservations, and it can cause you to feel unworthy.

I know because I was and am currently there.

During high school, the main goal is to get your diploma, however, there is this constant push to be thinking about the future, what it holds and how you are going to be spending the rest of your life.

Society pushes young adults, to have their life figured out and to make a life-changing decision in order to further control the narrative of what success is supposed to look like. There is no time for you to figure it out, and there is no time to wait, it is either you go to college or you are not worthy enough to be acknowledged by your peers.

What they fail to mention is the extreme mental and financial battle that comes along as a result of you making the decision to pursue your education further.

Don’t get me wrong, college is needed, especially for concentrations in medicine, STEM and what would be considered “practical” careers.

However, the late nights, the cries because of the stress that comes along with passing a class, the extreme feeling of loneliness and doubt, not to mention the overwhelming costs to attend the universities can make anyone have reservations. Not only do you now have to pay for the education but you have to pay to live on campus, and pay for books, and depending on your financial situation paying for school often makes it hard to live a stable or comfortable life.

You know how everyone says college students live off of ramen… It is not a myth.

Not only do we have to make this decision before we are fully aware of who we are and what we want, we also place ourselves in a financial hole that leaves us with mountains of debt that is owed back to the government. All while working a minimum wage job that is not even in the field in which the degree we pursued was in.

Let that sink in.

Not only have I made this life-changing but I now have to pay off someone for the rest of my life.

All because society told me, this was the way I was going to reach success.

An Unspoken Social Contract

Everyone has thought about dropping out at one point.

There are times when it can be too much.

The classes. The social scene. Family troubles. Relationships.

It is a lot.

But, when talking about not wanting to go to college or the idea that college is not for you, many people form this conclusion about how your life is supposed to be as a result.

College = Success.

That is what society tells us.

That is what we have been conditioned to know.

Since I have made the decision to leave college I am going to tell you this. No matter who knows, whether it is my family, friends or people on the internet. The moment anyone hears that I have decided to no longer pursue my education the conversation goes stale.

There is this surface level support that people try and give me. The words “I believe in you” or “do what’s best for you” is what I have been accustomed to hearing.

However, one of my closest friends said something to me that truly changed my outlook on why my actions have changed her perspective on life and her perception of me.

“I’m so happy that you decided to do this for yourself and take that risk. So many people our age are unhappy with their majors and the decisions that they have made but are too afraid to step out like you are. You inspire me.”

AP

The key words in this is the fact that many of my peers are unhappy.

They would rather stay unhappy then to be temporarily uncomfortable for the potential of having long term happiness.

All because they are afraid of what others will think of them.

As a person who based a lot of her self-worth off of school and validation from my peers, this was a tough realization to come too.

Becoming comfortable within this decision was not and is not easy. As I am in my final semester as a sophomore, every day I have to remind myself why I made the decision in the first place.

Do not let social constructs hold you back from pursuing something that can truly make you happy. Especially in today’s society where you an grow an audience and profit by doing just about anything.

Do what everyone is afraid to do because you will become the person that both you and they look up too.

A Never Ending Cycle

Fear and judgement is what allows for the same mentality to be passed down through generations. No one is questioning the system because society makes it appear as though it works out in the end.

What many fail to realize is that going to college, settling down and getting a 9-5 job and starting a family is not the dream of many.

Everyone is different yet the American school and college system is designed to teach us to conform and be less of who we truly are because who we want to be is unattainable.

We are not allowed to create our own definitions of success. This is because by forging our own definitions to meet our individual needs we are sacrificing that of societies because it no longer benefits the capitalistic mindset.

What they don’t tell you is that many of these people who society places on this pedestals, the owners of technology companies and these millionaires do not have college degrees. Instead they spent their time developing and creating and pursuing, without the looming debt over their heads.

Granted, many people, especially BIPOC, do not get this same opportunities due to social, political and economic factors. However we can still us this as motivation, we may not have the money but, start by spending your time.

Break the cycle. Do what feels right for you.

If you don’t learn by sitting in a classroom, then learn the best way you know how.

If you went to college and realized that you are no longer happy, then change it.

You are the key to unlocking your destiny.

It is never too late to start to live.

It is never too late to live life on your own terms.

Make your own path instead of listening to what society tells you is right.

It is never too late to go against the grain.

It is never too late to be who you have always dreamed of and make it a reality.

Thanks for Talking,

Ty